The Individual Collective

"No one ever won a war by dying for their country....they won it by making the other poor soul die for his!" - Gen. George S. Patton

The original sin was described by the phrase "I will be like the Most High"(Is. 14:14). There is a caution we must all take in our lives regarding this. The danger is that we fail to accept any direction from any source, becoming our own god and doing what is right in our own eyes. But that being said, I want to share what I feel is a revelation of sorts that I took away from my father's death.

When he began sharing with me his experiences and told of his mistakes and regrets, I gained an insight into him (and by extension myself). He told of men who were drunk with their own positional power. They refused to accept that another man could make a decision if it was not first filtered through their judgment. They could not allow a man to be a leader of his own home. The opinion was that the pastor was "the voice of God in your life' and that if God spoke it would be through them. This was contrary to not only what my father read in  Scripture, but also his training and performance in a leadership role in the military. A good leader does not make his soldiers impotent. A good leader teaches them how to think for themselves, so that if the leader is not accessible, the soldiers can survive on their own merits.


The individuality of a Christian is paramount in our faith. The Body is comprised of many individual members. Collectively, we are a functioning army of love. My dad ministered to many people in his life. He did things for others who could not do for themselves. He gave land away, vehicles away, time to those whom he could. He sang and played his guitar in the solitude of his own home unto the Lord. He was no longer interested in being a "superstar" or a paragon of spirituality by other men's standards. He wanted Jesus. Pure an unfiltered. But to get that, he had to leave the confines of modern circles of religious practice. He never gave up on God. He just stopped worrying about being accepted by others. He realized it would never be good enough. He was too big of a presence. Too strong of a man and leader in his own right (as evidenced by his Air Medal for combat excellence) to allow someone who did not have the same qualities to dictate how he ought to conduct his personal decisions. That may sound rebellious to some. To me it sounds like freedom.

Freedom is not the right to do what we want. But the ability to do what we should. If freedoms are impugned, then there are only three choices: lead a revolt, change your location, or subjugate your own conscience. The only one of those three that is acceptable is the second. And my father's life reflects that endless journey. He finally found his rest on December 19. But his voyage shows his son that being an individual is not a popular choice. Men fear what they cannot control.  And whenever men are afraid, they cling to power and use position to manipulate what threatens their authority.

I have spent the greater part of my life without self respect. I have cowered at the prospect of being rejected. But fifteen years ago my father showed me that things are not always as they seem. The last conversation I had with my dad, I was having to borrow money from him because I couldn't find work. I told him how I was trying and how frustrated I was. He knew that I had also felt very wounded by the apathy that church people exhibited towards us. But I did not begin to cry until he said "I'm proud of you son. I love you." Tearfully, I told him I loved him back. I didn't know those would be his last words to me on this earth. But how grateful i am for them.

My dad was a man who commanded respect, even if you didn't like him. At his funeral a friend said that all the women loved him and all the men wanted to be him. I went to northern Idaho to bury my father, but what I actually did was find myself. He WAS proud of me. Those weren't idle words. And if a man of his quality and strength respected who I am and what I stand for, then maybe I should start respecting myself.

The gift of God is that we no longer have to be beaten down by life. There is a hope. But another aspect of our salvation is that we are free. Free to use the gifts God has placed within us. And free to follow after Him without a fear of men's opinions.Great men help others become great. I hope that I can prove just how great a man Roger Davis was.

I am the son of my natural father. I am the son of my Spiritual Father. My life's goal is to honor them both if I can.